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Sick And Twisted Sadistic Satire

Apr. 27th, 2011

02:06 pm - The Truth About Women And Porn...

Apr. 20th, 2011

04:20 pm - Fucking Hilarious Four Twenty Humor...

Apr. 10th, 2011

05:06 pm - Funniest Craigslist Advertisement Ever...

To The Dude(s) Banging My Wife (a-town)

I know, I know... it’s a sweet piece ain’t it. That thing she does with her tongue.... OMG (you’re welcome... I taught her that) Hell, I’d be hitting that right now if a trip to Prov last year didn’t change all that. Luckily a shot in the butt and a few pills took care of it, but from what I know now... I could have been much worse. I’d kick her to the curve in a second, but she really is a good Mom. I know I'm gone a lot, but a guy has to work. She knew before we got married I'd be gone two weeks every month, and she sure doesn't complain about the paycheck.

I just have a few favors, common courtesy if you will, AND a little advise. I’m not sure if you’re that APD cruiser guy that’s comes by or the airman or from what my neighbor lady tells me any number of guys, but:

1. Please trim, shave, wax, “manscape” or whatever it takes. Those short red/black/brown curlies I keep finding are creeping me out, and I’m getting sick of boiling my sheets every time I get home from the slope

2. Learn to put the seat down and clean up your bad aim. I’m the only guy that lives here, and isn’t me.

3. Stop messing with my Xbox. I don’t get to play it often, but when I do, don’t want to see your score up there.... Yes, “you the man” at Black Ops, and i obviously am not. If her box isn’t enough for you. Shovel the driveway or fix the sink downstairs. I’m not much of a plumber. Maybe one of you are. Thanks in advance.

4. Stop using my lube. It’s my personal JO supply. It’s not expensive, but it is mine. Next time if find some missing there will be some cayenne in there for both your enjoyment. Yah, I guess you could say I’m a bit bitter

5. Learn how to reset the browser history on the computer. I’m not into shemales or transexuals, perhaps my wife is now, but I seriously doubt it.

6. Please do not knock her up. I do not want to raise your child. I’ve had a vasectomy and I know she says she’s on the pill....”just to regulate her cycle” Believe me. if you wrap it up, you’ll be much safer.

Check the medicine cabinet, or her purse. You’ll find a rx for Valtrex from Carrs. I checked the dosages, it’s not for “cold sores” I’m no doctor but you don’t take 1000mg every day for that. One of you guys gave her the gift that keeps on giving. Luckily I’m clean. I really am a nice guy, and wouldn’t even wish that on Joe Miller. Just in case I bought a box of Magnums and put them in the night stand. (if I know her. You’ll probably need that size)

One of you guys with sausage fingers left a gold band.. I’m guessing you’re looking for it. Next time you come over, bring a bottle of Jager and a case of Corona and i’ll tell you where it is.


PS: This has been on my facebook for quite some time but
just incase you missed seeing it there here it is again!

Dec. 1st, 2010

10:27 pm - Just In Time For The Holidays!

Visit The Sadistic Web of Mistress Malice! 

Oct. 27th, 2010

10:36 am - The Vagina Song

Sep. 14th, 2010

08:17 pm - The Best Way To Clean Your Dirty Fucking Balls!

Jul. 8th, 2010

01:49 am - Male Menstruation... What Would It Be Like?

Ever wonder what it would be like if men had monthly periods?
I have and I think that this may be a pretty good representation.

May. 6th, 2010

08:29 pm - Anti-gay Baptist minister took male prostitute on holiday

The Sadistic Web of Mistress Malice!

Published By Guy Adams May 6th 2010

A Baptist minister who is one of America's leading opponents of gay rights, and who believes that homosexuality is a mental disorder that can be "cured", found himself with some serious explaining to do yesterday after he was photographed at Miami airport with a male prostitute he had hired to join him on a European holiday. George Alan Rekers, a middle-aged co-founder of the right-wing Family Research Council, admitted taking the 20-year-old on a 10-day trip to London and Madrid in March. Rekers met the sex worker on the website www.rentboy.com, where he appears under the alias "Lucien" and claims to be "sensual," "wild" and "up for anything".

Rekers, who has appeared as an expert witness in court cases challenging gay adoption, denied having sex with his travelling companion. He had hired Lucien to help carry his luggage, he told reporters, and only found out that he was a prostitute halfway through the trip. "I had surgery and I can't lift luggage," Rekers told the Miami New Times. "That's why I hired him." He declined to say why he had secured bag-carrying services through www.rentboy.com. Rekers also neglected to explain what had drawn him to Lucien, who has long blond hair and appears topless in photographs on the website. Perhaps it was the young man's interesting range of hobbies, which are listed as: "vanilla, leather, shaving, spanking, role-play and go-go dancing".

Rekers, a committed Christian, has frequently been quoted condemning homosexuality in local newspapers. He is also a board member of two well-funded lobbying organisations that run high-profile campaigns against equality for gays and lesbians. Quite what view those groups will now take on his lifestyle remains to be seen. Rekers often travels to Europe and the Middle East to lecture on sexuality, but the lengthy trip where he was accompanied by Lucien did not include any official engagements.

Updated Information On This Story

The escort now says Rekers is indeed gay, and that Rekers paid him to perform daily nude body rubs during their European jaunt. "It's a situation where he's going against homosexuality when he is a homosexual," the young man told the New Times, adding that Rekers -- who repeatedly asked for a move he dubbed "The Long Stroke" -- ought to divorce himself from his many anti-gay associations.

Not to worry, Rekers told the Miami New Times, which broke the story: He claims he learned his 20-year-old companion was a prostitute only midway through their trip, they had no intimate contact, and he hired the young man only because recent surgery means "I can't lift luggage."

This seems highly dubious, because it would be extremely difficult to accidentally stumble upon the Rentboy.com homepage, which features young well-muscled men rubbing each other's crotches on grainy video loops, and not figure out what the site means by "rent boy."

Speaking of video here are some links to some video footage that
can be found on youtube.com for your amusement seeking pleasure!





Apr. 30th, 2010

11:50 am - Chef dies after feeling eel...

The Sadistic Web of Mistress Malice!

Published By The Sun On April 30th 2010
A CHEF has died after an EEL was put up his bum.
Shocked doctors in Sichuan, China, found the sea creature in the 59-year-old man's rectum after his death, it has been reported. The 50cm long Asian swamp eel was allegedly inserted into the unnamed man's bottom, after he passed out drunk, by pals playing a prank on him. Medics said the eel had devoured his bowels.

Dec. 25th, 2009

05:57 pm - Santa's Kinky Christmas Surprise!

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